Saturday, October 13, 2012

Some really funny weight loss and diet quotes

1. I am a nutritional overachiever. 
2. I think I just ate my willpower.
3. Where do you go to get anorexia?  ~Shelley Winters
4. I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have déjà vu.  ~Jane Wagner
5. I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.  ~Dave Barry
6. The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.  ~Andy Rooney
7. Rich, fatty foods are like destiny:  they too, shape our ends.
8. I never worry about diets.  The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.  ~Mae West
9. I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.  ~Paula Poundstone
10. Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
11. The cardiologist's diet:  If it tastes good, spit it out.  
12. I have a great diet.  You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.  ~Ed Bluestone
13. I'm not overweight.  I'm just nine inches too short.  ~Shelley Winters
14. Flabbergasted, adj.  Appalled over how much weight you have gained. 
15. My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.  Unless there are three other people.  ~Orson Welles
16. Obesity is really widespread.  ~Joseph O. Kern II (simply brilliant!)
17. She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when." ~P.G. Wodehouse